Luke 22: 56 - 57 Then a servant-girl, seeing Peter in the firelight, stared at him and said, “This man also was with him.” But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know him.”
Why did Peter deny Jesus? He was one of the first to follow Jesus, leaving so much behind to walk the uncertain road of discipleship. He had seen mighty wonders as his Teacher and Friend healed the sick, cast out demons, and even raised the dead. Peter had even walked on water for a few brief moments. So why did Peter, of all people, deny Jesus? Because he was afraid.
Fear startles us in the middle of the night and keep us awake for hours. It prevents us from reaching for our dreams or from reaching out to others in love. Fear cripples our souls and binds our hearts. It locks us in prison and throws away the key.
Peter was afraid and understandably so. All that he had hoped seemed to be crumbling before Him. The One he believed to be the Messiah, the Saviour of Israel, was now arrested. Jesus’ death seemed certain. Moreover, seeing his powerful Master so helpless must have confused Peter. Why did the One with the power to still the storm not use that power now? And if Jesus was helpless to defend himself, what did that mean for Peter? How could he escape a fate like that of Jesus: arrest, abuse, and perhaps execution?
I can understand what this might have been like for Peter, because I also have experienced the blinding blast of fear. If Peter felt anything like what I felt some gloomy days in my life, then I can understand why he denied Jesus. In saying this, I am not defending his behaviour. Not at all. What Peter did was wrong. But I can understand what he might have been feeling, and why he did something that he later found so horrifying and inexcusable. Fear has the power to make us do or say what we later regret.
Though you and I might not deny Jesus in such a blatant way as Peter did, I do suggest that we indeed deny him in less obvious ways, because of fear. Have you ever sensed that the Lord was urging you to do something for his sake, but you did not, because you were afraid? You must know what it's like to downplay the significance of your faith in a conversation, because you were afraid of what people might think of you? Have you ever let fear keep you from experiencing the fullness of life in Christ? Being filled with the Spirit may sound frightfully strange: can I really trust God so much that I fully surrender to his will and plan for me, his work and my calling?
What is the remedy for such fear?
It is in trusting God, believing the Word of Christ. It is in knowing what divine love is, because of what Jesus did for me on the Via Dolorosa, the way of grief. 1 John 4:18: There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
We don't conquer fear through rationalization or mind-control. We overcome fear by leaning more fully into the loving care of God, knowing that he will never let us go.
Prayer: Forgive me, dear Lord, when I let fear get in the way of my relationship with you. Forgive me for all the times I have fallen short in my discipleship, because I've been afraid. Forgive me for failing to trust you when you've proven yourself to be completely worthy of my trust. Amen.
O sacred head with grief weighed down,
with thorny bush your only crown!
How pale you are, abused and scorned,
your countenance, now blood adorned!
What shall I say, dear heavenly Friend?
Your shame and suffering, I cannot mend!
But let me never faithless be,
your dying love – it was for me!
O sacred Christ, so cruelly crowned –
no greater love nor mercy found.
O Jesus let me worship thee,
so scorned, so mocked on Calvary!
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